In all reality, today hasn't been bad. Not great. But not bad either.
Started off a little rocky with Avery. But that is only because the kid hates getting up early for school. If school started at 9:00, things would be sooooooooooo much easier.
Got better with my walk to Britt's bus stop. We had a laugh (She about killed me tagging me in the post that she did.)
Someone who loves her camera - (It is probably the only material possession that I adore.) I about lost it when I watched the video.
It was of a man washing his camera. MY FREAKING WORLD.... IN WATER, WITH SOAP! I about had a freaking heart attack. It was too much. I am pretty sure the look on my face resembles what most peoples faces look like while watching a horror flick. It was torture watching that. Reading the comments, was worse!!!!!! People seriously should not listen to everything they see and read on the internet. I shit you not, one of those comments said. "My camera isn't working now."
Really? You don't freaking say?????
To top it off, that man sprayed it down with a hose after. And I cringed when I saw the way he was wiping that sensor. Damn, and that camera he brutally murdered wasn't cheap. It was relatively new. I really freaking hope that it was a dead camera that someone had already broke. That video killed me.
Either way - we took joy in a moment of stupidity. It was a good walk. I enjoy these stolen moments with my daughter. As she grows into a teen, these moments are far and in between.
I saw the two little ones off to school, had a moment of "Silence."
I swear, I always walk into the house and take a deep breath. It's the first breath of MINE, that I get. It is probably one of the most precious feelings.
The day continued to be alright ... Enjoyed my morning walk with Chris. Took Marley this time. I was a little nervous about that. Because of her dog penny. Marley, doesn't get around many dogs. I was uncertain how he would do. HE DID GREAT! I was such a proud mommy. He is such a good boy.
On the way back home from the front side, we came across a bunny. Not a live bunny. Someone had hit it and it lay there lifeless on the road.
Broke my heart.
Me being who I am, with my over sensitive heart and superstitious mind, GROSS as it was, scooped up the bunny in a doggy bag, took it home. (All I could think of was ...) That someone looking out their window must think. "Oh, look at the hillbilly, found her some roadkill, gonna make rabbit stew" I have no idea why I always think people think the worse of me when they see me. But when I am doing weird shit, like picking up dead animals off the road and carrying them home, WELL ... I think those moments of self conscious - uncertainty is well warranted.
I now have a bunny buried in my back yard.
I should have cleaned - I didn't. I did have intentions to do it, but I think I am just worn down. You know its funny. Get me angry and I will take it out on the house. Instant house maid. (I think that is why nick picks fights with me.) But if my heart feels weak, if I feel broken, I just can't bring myself to live. Not even to do simple mundane tasks. Breathing is a struggle.
I will get there ... and boy once I do. I know everyone will jump for joy.
LOOK -- WE HAVE A FLOOR! haha
"Things that made me smile"
- Just laughed at the floor comment. Mainly because I know it's true, but also because I live with a bunch of smart ass kids, that take after me. I know the faces that will come and I adore those smart ass faces!
- My biggest smile of the day came from the picture above. It was such a simple moment in life but it melted my heart instantly. Avery - had a crystalist, and it hatched today. Nick was showing her where her new pet butterfly was"She named it Callie." The excitement, the joy, the purity in her heart. They are, moments like these- are where I find my smile. I am so in love with being that kids mommy. (all three of theirs.) Sure I want to be a writer, a photographer, etc. But out of all the things in the world I could wish to be, Their mom is the one thing I know for sure (was meant to be.)
- Watched a girl walk into the candy rack at food lion - LMFAO!!! That made me smile too. I'm so glad, it's not just me!
- I smiled a ton watching a movie. You know, I think that is why I don't like to watch movies during the day with people, but rather - only in darkness. Because if they are the slightest bit happy, sappy or whatever. There's (Me.) Eyes bright eyed, big fuck all weird ass smile on my face. The whole time! I must look crazy! If you haven't watched "Committed." It was cute. Plus, I have a huge girl crush on Heather Graham.
- Marley ran face first into the glass part of the door - LMFAO! Laughed at that for fucking ever it seemed. Silly dog. Seriously though, that was freaking funny. I am laughing all over again just remembering. Poor guy! hahahahahahah
- Laughed a lot with Erin when she came home from school. Sometimes, all it takes is a taste of that kids uniqueness to lift ANYONE'S spirits. We didn't say anything of importance, it was basically a mix of weird faces and non stop laughter, followed by explanations in not really audible words, but somehow we understood. We were in our own little Erin and Dee world, and I loved every second of that.
It's been such a long day. At first when I started this blog, I was uncertain I could keep it positive. But really - writing down the things that made me smile, just today -- I realize, that today, really wasn't a bad day after all.
Here is hoping that you guys had a good day too. I'm thinking, my pillow misses me. Seeing how I spend most of my night wondering the halls, and checking the doors, and making sure that no one (like zombies.) are crawling around outside in the darkness, the sooner I get to my pillow and pass out, the more likely I am to have a little sleep tonight.
It's just so quiet once everyone is asleep - I think that is what keeps me up at night.
Plus - my creepy house makes all these weird noises and I watch too many scary movies, and I have got to stop rambling.
NIGHT GUYS! xxDee
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