It's almost over though. Just need to hang in a little while longer, and hope like hell that the new year coming holds a lot less stress.
I made resolutions last year ... I only stuck to a few. Was disappointed I didn't follow through on some and happy as hell I did on others.
This year ... I do not think that I will make a resolution. I think I will simply give this year a theme and try to do something within that theme.
I saw a quote the other day ... I think I will make my Facebook cover the picture I found. It said
"Don't follow your dreams, Chase them."
Needless to say, it sparked the theme for this year. Chase my dreams. Funny how I used to think I had so many and as soon as I made that my theme, I was at a loss on where to start.
Things that I love things I dream I will someday do. OR be better at.
Photography: I keep seeing these "A pic a day for a year." things. I think I want to do it, I do not think that I want to put them on websites other than maybe Facebook or Instagram.. But I do think that I will make a special album and shoot things that I find beauty in. I haven't been shooting for fun much lately, seems it is work related only, and I think that has put a sort of damper on my soul because of it. Looking at my camera, something that once inspired excitement now barely musters a *Meh :/ * feeling. I honestly think it contributes slightly to my depression. I miss it.
Writing: While I was happy that I published three stories this past year (2 children stories) and 1 cookie cutter short story. I still can not help but feel disappointment. Mainly because I am not happy with Fertilizer. Why? Because it gave everything away too soon. Probably because it was written more like a tale someone was telling of something that once happened rather than a mystery. It was bugging me so bad that It inspired a way to fix it .... I can not really go into too much detail, because I am superstitious and I do not want to give it away. I can say, that one more cookie cutter short story tied in with the last one, followed by one that ties ALL THREE into each other (With a twist) is on its way. (I have been working on things that I plan on publishing under different names (for my own personal reasons) -- aka, they are sexual in nature and I do not want people to type my name looking for a kids book and coming up with porn. (or porn like nature) My writing this year ... there is a plan! I am actually excited about this plan, Especially since I created my little writing room.
Color Run: I have always wanted to join in on a 5K run/walk/jog ... I just never really got around to it. This year, that dream is going to come true. Silly as it sounds ... I wanna run, I want people to splash colors on me, and I want to get sweaty and gross and be surrounded by people I do not know who want to do the same. Maybe that is what I long for. To be surrounded. But without having to interact. Smiles, nods of like minded people who just want to do this damned run to say they did then go home and take a shower is all I need. There is one in Fayetteville this year. I have already signed up with the vip email thingy that will let me know when I can set my place in stone!. My sister Jen will be doing it too ... so I have that push to go through with it.
The picture up there is something I shot just using my basic Samsung Galaxy 4 ... Nothing special, but while sitting in the passenger side seat, watching the road drift behind me, it simply reminded me that, the past is behind me and I am still moving forward. (Looking back in the rear-view mirror, I realized that it wasn't at all as interesting as what was ahead. "Kind of a kick in the face to tell me to stop thinking about all the shit that happened this year and look forward to the possibilities that lie ahead."
My sister Lonna is coming to visit today and quite honestly I should be cleaning. I am excited to see her and her Richie, and their two children. My sis Bree and her two kiddos will be coming over too.
Normally, On new years, I try to be asleep when the ball drops. Superstitious that maybe just maybe if I am asleep I will have a year of being well rested ahead of me. It hasn't worked yet. This year, having two of my sisters here (We just need Jackie now) I am thinking things a little differently. Maybe its not such a bad thing to let a little fun into my life, one sleepy day out of a year following, really isn't the end of the world.
I have no idea what this year will hold ... but I do know what theme I have chosen. My stubborn ass will do my best to stick with it.
Whether you guys out there make resolutions or not ... I hope that yous have a happy new year! Thanks for stopping by and listening to me blab xoxoxoDee
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