You know, normally I cannot stand negativity. However, when you are in agony waiting for a Dr. to call you with results about a biopsy, NEGATIVE is suddenly your best friend.
Today, is a good fucking day!
Torture, that is what the weekend was, and I was feeling rather run down Sunday, so much so that friends noticed. (I hated that I couldn't hide my worry.) Monday, I tried my best to stay focused on all things other than this, but it began to seep in, but by Tuesday (Today) I couldn't wait any longer.
I told more than a few people that I would wait until the afternoon, if they have not called and call them at noon. But I couldn't. I failed at the patience game! I am glad that I did too. Because had I not, I would have been thinking the worse all the way through lunch! NOTE: To anyone out there, sometimes it is best just to call your doctor and hassle the shit out of them! I guess when things are good, they do not bother with a call, or at least they do not rush to call. "They should!" You cannot tell someone something, send them home with a fuck ton of worries, get your answer and say nothing! There are freaking people out there like me! Who obsess to the point they are physically ill!
Anyway - I do have to take an antibiotic, but the test for whether that small lump they found was cancer came back negative! I AM IN THE CLEAR! However, I still with my whole heart urge you ladies out there to stay on top of checking yourself. I am lucky. Lucky as hell , but there are tons out there who are not. Please check yourselves regularly. Maybe even get tested to see if you are at a higher risk Info about how - here!
So great news for a start to the day! That is a plus. We are also on DAY 2 of 4. Summer is edging closer. SO CLOSE! Which my excitement is beginning to take completely over the dread portion.
Thanks to my girl SHANDEE! (I love you girl) We have our first short flick of the summer to film. She planted a seed in my head, and now we have a full grown plant to nourish! Excited about that.
This morning, as in early this morning before the call to the doctors - I had a bitter sweet moment. I have been fighting my middle child Erin on whether or not it was okay to shave her legs at 11.
SIGH ..............................
Needless to say, she did win. I just didn't want her to yet, I know that she will regret this choice. Hell, I am 33 years old and I regret ever starting to shave my legs. Because now I am stuck with this forever! It's endless! UGH! But when she said that some kids were saying she looked like a yetti, I simply caved!
I do remember, I am not so old that I cannot recall wanting to shave my legs at a young age. I think I just wanted to hold onto her childhood a little longer. My babies are growing up too fast and I am having a hard time dealing with that.
Today is Avery's awards in class ... that kid is a mess. LOL. Legit, she is like ...
"Okay mom, it is at one! Specifically at one! You may not be late. So leave the house at 12:00, that way you will be there at one!"
(It's five minutes away mind you. - So I say)
"Okay, so I will leave at 1 and be there by 1:15"
SHE SCREAMS NOW
"Nooooooo!!!!! LISTEN!!!!! Leave before ONE! Get there early, If you miss me getting my award I will be upset. DO NOT BE LATE"
"So I should be there at two?"
"ARE YOU NOT LISTENING??????? MOM, NO! ONE! YOU MUST BE THERE AT ONE!"
LMFAO! Sometimes, I take too much joy into messing with that kid! At least I know she will smile when I roll in before one!
Today Britt has more exams, you know, I envy that kid. Here she is in high school, they are throwing things at her left and right, its hard ass work, She flourishes through it all. She continuously impresses me with her motivation! With her constant effort. She is way more responsible than I ever was at that age. I am so completely proud of that girl.
Hate thinking that I only have three years with her left, before she heads off to college.
Maybe I will get lucky and she will go to college close by so that I can still see her.
There is a note for you moms to be out there who ask "What's the hardest part of being a parent?"
It's not the terrible two's , its not the fit throwing, bad behavior or fighting with siblings. It's letting go. It's hard as hell to step back and let them forge their own way! That is the hardest part!
Well, if I am going to be ready by one, than I suppose I better get ready now so that I am not late. I will get preoccupied with a thousand things, and before I know it, I will be late. I do not want to let that kid down today. I will never hear the end of it.
Have a great day everyone! xxDee
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