Negatively Speaking

NEGATIVE! FUCK YEAH BABY!

You know, normally I cannot stand negativity. However, when you are in agony waiting for a Dr. to call you with results about a biopsy, NEGATIVE is suddenly your best friend.

Today, is a good fucking day!

Torture, that is what the weekend was, and I was feeling rather run down Sunday, so much so that friends noticed. (I hated that I couldn't hide my worry.) Monday, I tried my best to stay focused on all things other than this, but it began to seep in, but by Tuesday (Today) I couldn't wait any longer.

I told more than a few people that I would wait until the afternoon, if they have not called and call them at noon. But I couldn't. I failed at the patience game! I am glad that I did too. Because had I not, I would have been thinking the worse all the way through lunch! NOTE: To anyone out there, sometimes it is best just to call your doctor and hassle the shit out of them! I guess when things are good, they do not bother with a call, or at least they do not rush to call. "They should!" You cannot tell someone something, send them home with a fuck ton of worries, get your answer and say nothing! There are freaking people out there like me! Who obsess to the point they are physically ill!

Anyway - I do have to take an antibiotic, but the test for whether that small lump they found was cancer came back negative! I AM IN THE CLEAR! However, I still with my whole heart urge you ladies out there to stay on top of checking yourself. I am lucky. Lucky as hell , but there are tons out there who are not. Please check yourselves regularly. Maybe even get tested to see if you are at a higher risk  Info about how - here!


So great news for a start to the day! That is a plus. We are also on DAY 2 of 4. Summer is edging closer. SO CLOSE! Which my excitement is beginning to take completely over the dread portion.

Thanks to my girl SHANDEE! (I love you girl) We have our first short flick of the summer to film. She planted a seed in my head, and now we have a full grown plant to nourish! Excited about that.

This morning, as in early this morning before the call to the doctors - I had a bitter sweet moment. I have been fighting my middle child Erin on whether or not it was okay to shave her legs at 11.
SIGH ..............................
Needless to say, she did win. I just didn't want her to yet, I know that she will regret this choice. Hell, I am 33 years old and I regret ever starting to shave my legs. Because now I am stuck with this forever! It's endless! UGH! But when she said that some kids were saying she looked like a yetti, I simply caved!
I do remember, I am not so old that I cannot recall wanting to shave my legs at a young age. I think I just wanted to hold onto her childhood a little longer. My babies are growing up too fast and I am having a hard time dealing with that.

Today is Avery's awards in class ... that kid is a mess. LOL. Legit, she is like ...
"Okay mom, it is at one! Specifically at one! You may not be late. So leave the house at 12:00, that way you will be there at one!"
(It's five minutes away mind you. - So I say)
"Okay, so I will leave at 1 and be there by 1:15"
SHE SCREAMS NOW
"Nooooooo!!!!! LISTEN!!!!! Leave before ONE! Get there early, If you miss me getting my award I will be upset. DO NOT BE LATE"
"So I should be there at two?"
"ARE YOU NOT LISTENING??????? MOM, NO! ONE! YOU MUST BE THERE AT ONE!"

LMFAO! Sometimes, I take too much joy into messing with that kid! At least I know she will smile when I roll in before one!

Today Britt has more exams, you know, I envy that kid. Here she is in high school, they are throwing things at her left and right, its hard ass work, She flourishes through it all. She continuously impresses me with her motivation! With her constant effort. She is way more responsible than I ever was at that age.  I am so completely proud of that girl.
Hate thinking that I only have three years with her left, before she heads off to college.
Maybe I will get lucky and she will go to college close by so that I can still see her.

There is a note for you moms to be out there who ask "What's the hardest part of being a parent?"
It's not the terrible two's , its not the fit throwing, bad behavior or fighting with siblings. It's letting go. It's hard as hell to step back and let them forge their own way! That is the hardest part!

Well, if I am going to be ready by one, than I suppose I better get ready now so that I am not late. I will get preoccupied with a thousand things, and before I know it, I will be late. I do not want to let that kid down today. I will never hear the end of it.

Have a great day everyone! xxDee

DAY 1 of 4

Four, not my favorite number of  numeric existence. But it's a nice solid number none the less. FOUR. That is how many days I have left of peace and quiet. Although I somewhat feel screwed on that whole peace part. My mind is anything but peaceful at the moment.

Four days until summer break! I am torn between "Dread and excitement."

EXCITEMENT: I'll have my three monsters home every single day! (Or) Home on days, they haven't decided to do something with their friends. Summer in the world of us Chattaway's - means - Creativity, and I thrive on that. I am never more satisfied in life, than in moments we find ourselves smothered in intense creativity. Be it - us, making short fun, and sometimes creepy flicks together. Making crafts, or building a sheet fort in the living room to tell each other scary stories. I love the thickness of the imaginations that dwell in my home. It is never dull around here. That is for sure.

DREAD: My girls seem to be at that age, where, every little thing that each of them do, annoys the other. There is constant bickering. I dream summer, because I haven't quite figured out how to nip that in the bud.

Either way - excitement far out weighs the dread - Just four more days!

Today has been pretty productive. If you can see in that picture up there (20,631) That is how many words I have completed in a story that I have been working hard on. "Secrets within." So far (under my own name - not counting my pen name) I have only ever published "Short stories." This will be my very first - novel. I am really excited about that!
Alongside the writing, the house is in pretty okay shape, and I have edited 30 pictures.

All in all - I think it's been a pretty good day. Not bad for a Monday at all, and not bad for 10:15 on a Monday morning.
Busy! and I like busy. It keeps my mind from straying to places I would rather it not.

Right about now, I am thinking either, a movie or book, and some snacks. At first I was sure that I was being haunted by an angry monster, but realized - it's just my pissed off belly!

Anyone out there seen any good movies lately? Read any good books?  I am always looking for   suggestions.

You know - as I sit here writing this blow, listening to "Heart - These dreams." I realize, that I really cannot wait till these four days are over. It is so boring being home by yourself. I am a boring ass person!
Before I go off into some negative rant about myself, I think I will grab this spoon I am singing into, and dip it in some "Goober" Find a movie, some real food and try to pass the next few hours quickly. Thank goodness, school only lasts until 3!

Have a great day guys. xxDee

Grill Gloves Review.

I am supposed to give you guys a product review of some grill gloves. Unfortunately, I never received them, and I had no luck getting a response from the company.

AND BECAUSE "Tomoson" has a specific amount of time that each review is due otherwise you get penalized. I am simply setting this as a pre-review. I will review these gloves when I receive them.

Survival Bracelet Review.

Hey guys - I'm back with another product review.

This time we are talking about a nifty little survival bracelet.

Handy dandy for any boy/girl scout or camper. (Or) Really anyone who might find themselves in a bind.

I got this baby free to try, in return for my review.

It's not a bad looking bracelet. Looks a lot like the bracelets that the kids are making and wearing around these days. It comes equipped with a built in whistle! (It is pretty loud.) If you ever find yourself trapped in a hole, or lost - or even god for bid (being raped - they have rape whistles too.) This little baby might just save your life.

Taking the bracelet apart - I got about two strips of 10- 12 inches para cord and one small strip of like 5-6 inches.

For anyone who doesn't know about para cord - it is pretty much a key staple in the backpacks of any out Dorsey folks. Could come in handy if you need to.

A, Secure a tent.
B. Secure a splint or tourniquet.
C. Make an emergency belt, or even re-pair a bra strap.
D, Tie "Captured." bad guys to a chair
E. or a leash for a found dog.
F. Tie stuff down so it doesn't blow away.
G.There really are so many things you can do with this type of cord. However, roping up your bad guy might be a little harder than easy. It took a good 8 minutes just to unravel the rope. Forget about trying to put it back into bracelet form. I couldn't figure that out. But you can still keep the pieces tucked inside your sack for future use.

Might be a good idea to have 2 or three of these bracelets.
All in all - this isn't a bad thing to have on hand, in case you find yourself in any sticky situations.

You can get your own HERE

Play with your boobs!

Thirty-three, that is how old I am. That is an age timezone before the recommended mammogram age.  This is also the age where they found two small lumps in my left breast that I now am being monitored for. Right now, it's the waiting stage. It's the biopsy, hurry up, and say yes or no stage. The I am terrified, and anxious and I am sure that everything is going to be alright, because it just has to stage.

Yes, you are looking at the inside of my boob there. I apologize about that, but its the only way I could get across the severity of what I want to get across. It can happen, it does happen, and it can happen to you!

LADIES... all you ladies out there young and older. Please, play with your boobs! You know how they tell the boys to play with their balls, well I am asking you to play with your boobs. Daily- hell three times a day as long as you get to know them. Every ridge, angle, every inch of them.

You never know when something might pop up and the more you play with them, the better chance you have of catching a growth before it is too late. They say early detection is key!

I was told about a new test called "BRCA Analysis" It checks for the BRAC1 and BRAC2 genes. These are the genes that are responsible for a vast majority of hereditary "Breast and Ovarian cancers." Know your family history - If anyone in your family has had breast cancer or ovarian cancer or any kind of cancer really- this test could help you be proactive"

This test will not tell you if you have cancer today, only if you are at risk, and to give your Dr. the best screening route to more effectively handle your case with preventive drug or surgery therapy,

If you test positive, it is no longer a case of "Am I going to get cancer, but more so, when." If you test positive you also have a 50% chance that you passed it down to your children (or future children.) In my own opinion, I feel like it is better to know ahead of time. It could save you, it could save your daughter('s)

This test is not performed by all doctors, at least not where I am (You might have to call around.). I feel like, if more than a few of us "Ask" our doctors about it, it might become more available to those later on down the road. You can find out more about it HERE

If you do not plan on having the test done, I with my whole heart urge you to play with your breast, mammograms are not typical for younger ladies, But as you can clearly see - Things pop up regardless of age. Stay on top of it - this is your health!