Sigh .... A new day - new chances

Sigh ................... That is what I am doing right now. It is the first morning I have woken up that I haven't dreaded communication. You ever realize that the moment you say that things are going to be better. things are going to be different ... that it's the exact same time that things decide to take a turn for the worse. I would say ironic. But the irony of the situation, is that its not ironic at all. It is the norm. So once again "Sigh."  "It is a beautiful day today." That photo is this morning's sunrise.

I've been busting my balls. I don't see a dent either. I have so much to do, very little time and no motivation to do it. Do you guys remember me mentioning a cat? Rumor? The one who made my porch her home, decided to get knocked up and then moved into my home with her four adorable little kittens? Maybe I only mentioned the part where I adopted her because she wouldn't go away. She was starving and I had no choice but to save her. I simply can not turn away from an animal in need.

Either way ... She had kittens. I brought her and them all inside and kept them safe, fed and warm. They have since all found homes. Rumor on the other hand has been being held hostage Despite of her many attempts to escape. I have suffered her incessant meowing for freedom and endured fleas. The damn cat had fleas (Insert sad face.) Needless to say, Whom ever owned her did not have her fixed etc. After the hardship of trying to find them homes ... I was NOT about to put that cat back outside without doing what the previous owners should have done. There was a very long, LONG waiting list for cats to get spayed. Today is her day though. I am literally (hah, I lied- let me change that) MENTALLY doing Cartwheels. Soon, I can set her free. As sweet as she is, she is definitely an outside type of cat. She is not happy being stuck here. Part of me hopes she stays around and honestly I think that she will. But part of me wants her to go to her home. They must miss her. Surely they do. It's not like she's a bad cat. She doesn't bite, doesn't scratch anything but the window she's trying to budge. She really is the perfect cuddly cat. It's my cat *Amelia* that's a total asshole. No judging me either. She is, She is a giant fur-ball who attacks without warning. Sometimes I contemplate shooting her with the Nerf-gun. But that sucker is never around when I finally give in to temptation.

Wow. Went on a rant there. Sorry about that. She is getting fixed. She will be able to go back outside, as soon as she is healed and Rumor will be as happy as a clam here soon. Are clams happy? I really do not understand that saying.

So I am still doing all the stuff I was supposed to accomplish yesterday, because I have three little monsters (children) who tornado each room I finish. Is it really illegal to tie them up and stuff them in closets? I mean, it would only be for a few hours. Just until I am done.

I am thinking about signing up for this thing "Campnanowrimo" https://campnanowrimo.org/sign_in Here is a link if you are interested. It's a motivator of sorts for writers. You put in a word count goal, you write each day till you reach it....Upload your story so they can do a word count (no worries, it automatically deletes your story soon as its done.) Supposedly some people have written a complete novel in a month. I don't know about other writers. But my gosh, sometimes it is hard to even hit 10,000 words. Much less the 80,000 plus you need to be considered a novel. I thought maybe I would give it a shot. What harm could it do. I mean, for all I know, I have the next best novel just waiting for me to be pushed to my motivational limit. I keep saying I am thinking about it. I am. I AM going to do this. I already signed up. Thanks to my girl Shandee. I love that girl.



It starts April 1st. Then again in I think June. I figured, I will be stuck in a car for nine hours. What else am I going to do. 10,000 Words ... HERE I COME.  If all else fails, Maybe I can at least get a few awesome shorts and just make a compilation of sorts.

My whole house smells like Mulberry. Or at least I hope so. Because that is what it is supposed to smell like. I don't exactly know what it should smell like, just know that the candles Mrs. Norton ordered are supposed to smell like it. So basically I am just hoping like hell that the Candle scent I used. IS IN FACT MULBERRY. We shall see I guess. It smells great though. I can't seem to keep my nose away from them.

Okay .. coffee has run cold and I really do have a ton to do. So I better scoot. I hope you guys have a great day. If not great then decent. If not decent ... then I hope like hell you got a good slice of pie, ice cream  ANYTHING to sweeten it a little while you plot revenge. LOL. xxDee

Sometimes, coffee and rest outweighs Cleaning.

Today is a good day. A busy day but a good one. Today is a get shit done, because you’re running out of time because you procrastinate too much day.

It’s a rush through the house and clean

Pack up all photography equipment for birth/and newborn shoot

Make sure all the bills are paid or set to be paid

A put last finishing touches on your book DAY. Along with so many other tedious things I didn’t bother boring you with. 

I let my baby sister “Lonna.” Who in all reality is nothing close to a baby and in fact having a baby of her own – read my story. I wanted an opinion. I know most people are like, oh my Goodness, not family opinions. What they do not know about my sister, is that she enjoys the misery of others. If my book sucks. She will not hesitate for a second to let me know. In fact she would most likely deliver her opinion on a jagged edged poisoned plate. Fact one. I trust her. I value her input. She is the most honest person I know. Grant you at this moment, she has only seen a part of it, not it as in entirety. The fact however is, she wants more. She wants the whole thing.  Which of course she can have once I publish it and it is up for sale.

Life has been so crazy lately you guys. I have been through things “Just” this week alone that had me pulling my hair out, begging for a lobotomy. ANYTHING, to stop the madness. I have come to the conclusion, that some people in my life are just not good for me.  Some situations seemed to be draining my very soul. Also came to the conclusion that I just can’t do it anymore. I can’t keep dealing with the negativity I was surrounding myself in.

I am focused now. FIRST, all the stuff I mentioned above. Next, continue my writing. Maybe even spring clean the house, seeing how it is now officially spring. I also can’t forget to make those candles that were ordered. Those are a deadline. I can’t forget that deadline.

I know I say that there has been a lot going on, and I give hints at what. But it’s not something I can share in a whole. People that are involved, secrets within, so many different dimensions to the situation, that sharing would just make a sticky mess.

Some stuff though, some of the positives I am focusing on. My sister is about to have a baby. A little boy. I am super stoked about that. I get to take pictures of her water birth. So long as that baby waits till Tuesday when I get there to come out.

I finished my book “Freddy the frog” Which I mentioned in my last post. I really am a terrible drawer. However, that being said. The illustrations are coming out quite cute. I am happy with it. I have twelve more pictures to go and then I will have to figure out how to insert them into kindle ebook format. That will probably be a lot harder than thought. But I found this book by R. Scot Johns that looks promising in the ability to help me out with that. So I bought it instantly and plan on reading it in the car. http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00D0HWJI6/ref=oh_d__o00_details_o00__i00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

Fertilizer is coming along. I am in the write the blurb stage. I didn’t realize that writing a blurb could be almost harder than writing the book. It is hard to write something to pull the reader in, without giving it completely away. I have written more drafts of the blurb than I have the book. I am determined to get it right though. It is what it is, you know?

I am seriously determined to make today better than yesterday. I never knew the extent of how badly someone could disappoint you till then. Never knew how ashamed I could feel to be apart of something. Let's just say, Some people, just can't be saved. They do not realize how wrong they are. They are stuck in their own delusions. It's like that saying. "You can't fix stupid." I am trying my best not to dwell on this, and fueling my thoughts with the taste of donuts. I will regret that. I have had like 8 mini donuts.

 

The picture you see, is what I am thinking of putting on my author page. I don't really know what an author picture is supposed to look like. So it is what it is. You know :) Any thoughts on what it should be?

 

Alrighty, I have procrastinated a good deal this morning. So I guess getting my tush in gear is what's needed. Sigh, If only procrastination was rewards with maids and people to rub your feet. Have a great day you guys. xxDee

 

 

Taking Things Into My Own Hands

Hey you guys, Long time no type. "But I am here now."

Honestly, I just got swept away from life and the drama that comes with it. This, and that ... and everything in between seemed to pop up and rear its head. I feel like I put my life on hold for awhile there. I stopped doing anything that mattered to me. I quit blogging, quit writing in general, quit taking photographs, quit everything that brought joy to my life. I don't know what happened. However I am slowly putting things back, rearranging the importance of what I need, what I want, and what I can certainly do without so I don't find myself back into this slump.

Which brings me to .... WRITING!

My whole life I have wanted to be a writer.  Recently, I finished my first book "A children's story" (Freddy the frog *Finding friends*) I gathered up the courage and sent it in to Boyds mills press. They say that it could take up to 3 months to hear back from them, and it has only been one. Still I am restless on it. If they are going to accept it or reject it, I simply want it done sooner so I can move on.

The fear of rejection began setting in, and I decided to look for alternates. I wrote this story for my kids, and to me ... If it didn't sell, that was fine. As long as I could buy at least one copy for them to hold in their hands. On my search I came across *AMAZON!* and their KDP program. Where you can basically self publish, FREE! Which the picture you see attached to this post is the cover for my First short story ever *Fertilizer* Which I am putting the last touches on now, and plan on publishing in the next few days. I have to give most of the credit of that cover to the KDP community who helped me fix my first attempt at the cover. I owe having an awesome cover to their input and ideas. I am truly thankful for the kindness they shared in their help, that they were under no obligation to do so.

Either way ... I am going to do it. I am just going to write, and put it out for the world to see. If people love it, or hate it. At least I will have done it. Not just sat around wondering what could be but rather getting it out there and finding out what is. I am actually really excited.

I also started illustrating Freddy, and am almost completely done with the pictures for it. STUCK THOUGH on how to figure out how to format it so that the pictures and text are on the same page (Anyone out there reading this have a clue?) I figure there are plenty of ebooks that will tell me exactly how that I can buy and learn from.
CREATESPACE will let me put it in print too!

Needless to say, I am putting the fait of my writing into my own hands. Cutting out the middle man (publishers) I am making my dreams come true, instead of taking the many NO's  I have heard along the way.

I am nervous though on one point. The fact that my books range in all sorts of category. I do not just write for one age group. I don't just write horror/thriller. Sometimes it's a children's book. Sometimes its lovey dovey or death ridden. But then again, maybe that's not so bad. I can reach more than one type of reader. A mom who likes thrillers could come across my book while looking for something for her child to read.

I can not guarantee that everyone is going to like me as a writer, But I can hope to touch a few.
Have a great day everyone
xxDee