Scared Shitless! I could hear the crack of fear in my own voice as I yelled...I have a fucking gun!

Ever wonder if in the event of a burglary an actual in the process burglary whether or not you would feel safe, invincible, like a vigilante on a mission to stop a crime? Ready to get down in the face of danger and save the day or even if you would be in your right mind when at that moment you hold in your hand a gun? Let me assure you right here and now ….

You don’t!

In fact I believe that it possesses a potential to strike more fear into the heart of the holder. Not only are you scared for your life because you have no idea what the person inside your home stealing your things is capable of. But the thought of “What if I am left with no choice but to use this?” Is enough to give any person the jitters.

Suddenly … all those episodes of CSI come flooding my mind. All those remarks of “Yeah He shot that man on his property sure, but he didn’t know if the burglar would have harmed him. The fact he went out to investigate with a gun makes it murder with intent.”

The moment yesterday held for me, as I stood in a broken into garage glancing into an open door that leads into a house holding my handgun, I realized just how ridiculous those remarks had been. Truth is, I do not ever believe it is murder with intent now. When you are frightened, confused, and upset … there is no intent. It is full on instinct to stay alive. To protect yourself, and what is yours. (When I say what is yours, I mean pets or people that may be still inside… not possessions.)

So the man who is being tried for murder for shooting the “would be burglar” in his yard after having been hit in the head with a brick … charges should be dropped. As someone who has witnessed firsthand at the emotions involved, the thoughts and tension … That man did not murder that man, He protected himself. There are no pre-determined intentions of murder. Not in situations like that. I do not think any lawyer or judge who has not been in that predicament is capable of grasping onto the reality of it. There for are not truly fit to judge the situation.

Yesterday while standing in my backyard playing with my dog I see Parker. “Little Yorkie” Thinking it’s just another of his getting loose moments. I scoop him up and head on over to hand him over. To my surprise when my name was yelled I was faced with a much more difficult situation. Next door had been broken into.

I will not give all personal details … because they are not mine to give. I can however tell you what I have learned.

First: Holding a gun in your hand at a time like this holds its benefits along with its chaos. Yes, you will be able to defend yourself if case causes for it. But it also ignites a deeper fear. Making your actions unpredictable. Regrettable. Maybe even unforgettable. But even so, still warranted!

Second: You hear about burglaries all the time … even when they are nine houses down the road you feel distant from them. Like it can’t happen to you. You are able to put it out of your mind and move on without another thought on it. No one pays much attention to it until it hits close to home or you personally. It’s clicked. IT CAN HAPPEN TO YOU!

Watching someone I care about go through this … it’s heartbreaking.

You are forced to realize that even if you live in a small neighborhood where everyone knows everyone. Bad shit can still happen. The importance of watching out for others plays stronger. Especially when this happened in between 12:19 and 3:00 in the afternoon. BROAD DAYLIGHT and no one saw a thing. No one heard a thing. I live right next door and I didn’t hear or see. The road we live on is lit up from beginning to end with construction workers laying sewer lines. And nada!

I cannot stress enough the importance of home security systems. My home is laced in every room. CPI security keeps a close track on it. TRUST ME, I have set off the smoke alarm cooking on numerous occasions. They are quick to respond. Normal monthly cost to be monitored for me is $42.00 a month. That is well worth it, if you think of the possible outcomes without it.  

Third: There truly is no place completely safe. You might think you live in a safe place, free of crime. “Oh, that won’t happen here!” You might hear. But it will. Because there are bad people in this world. Any country, any state, any county, city ETC. You can’t stop bad people doing bad things. BAD THINGS DO HAPPEN. It is better to stay safe and look ridiculous, than have a false sense of security and wind up getting your picture taken by crime scene investigators.

 

Please stay safe out there you guys! xxDee

 

Letting My inner nerd shine ... You could be standing on the moon today!

Peaceful … That is my word for today! Mainly because as I sit here at my lap top, coffee next to me and music in the background. It is exactly the word that fits how I feel. I love days when I can wake up with thoughts of “This day will be better!” “I will not wake to fight.” Because today will be different. My children are safe … and the past is the past.

Things are about to get personal!

It’s funny … For the biggest portion of my life I could, would blame my past for who I am. For why I do the things I do. ETC. Recently I have realized that (I was playing the victim) I was using my past and the things that formed it as excuses. I was pussing out of taking responsibility for my own actions. I realized just how much I was truly hurting myself by doing this. How much holding onto anger and tears and regret can really affect who you are. It was only recently after talking with a friend that it clicked. Holding onto the past only gives it that much more power. You can only heal and move on once you truly let go. Until you learn to let go and face what is ahead without turning back into the past to grab onto a shred of reasoning for why what happening now is happening you’ll never overcome it!

That lesson helped a lot in recent things in my life. I could have woke up thinking… “Damn that griffin.” I could have focused on the audacity, could have allowed myself to be overcome by irritation. But instead I focused on today. Today … is a good day!

So pretty much I am in a peaceful state. Which by the way … I just want to say “Pandora! Pandora is the shit!”

I put in one artist and it instantly and strangely connected to my soul musically speaking. Not one song I haven’t like has played! Just thought I would let you guys out there know that! In case you are ever in a music bind.

ALSO ….

Would like to tell you guys about something cool I watched and then googled! Did you guys know that you do not need a space shuttle to come into contact with the moon? You may have a small little piece laying undisturbed under your bed, couch or tables (if you are like me and rarely clean under those places) *blush* you could have a piece stuck in the cracks of your sneakers! HOW COOL IS THAT? Seriously “You can check out the original source here – He explains it better than I ever could.” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bbgz4yY-xX0 But pieces of space MANY, MANY pieces of space fall to earth every year. Most from asteroids ETC. but some from the moon as well. There are partials from space layering where we walk every day! And you very well could be tracking in your very own piece of the moon! I simply think that is just awesome. But watch the video. He explains it in detail. As well as so many more interesting things.

(So that little tid bit explains the photo)

I am seriously infatuated with the moon. It is by far one of the most beautiful things I have seen. I am amazed by it. (I took this picture last night around 7pm standing in my front driveway) (The little guy next to the moon gave me a fright to remember so I decided to give my friend a little photo shoot) From the safety behind my window screen.

According to google this creepy new friend of mine is called a writing spider. (I know this thanks to my sister Lonna pointing it out) Their bite is harmless to humans … So that is good to know. They may bite if picked up but rarely attack large animals. Lonna points out my recent attempt at a pumpkin patch would explain why it chose my house for a home. These little things tear down and rebuild their web daily and are larger than their males. They really are interesting. Spiders make me fear for my life. However this little guy/gal is benefiting me by eating all those pesky little mosquitos, nats ETC. So we can be friends as long as it stays outside!  It really is quite beautiful.

Either way … this is just a rant about my day. A few lessons learned. Cool moon facts and a friend who doesn’t get the reconization they really deserve, unless they are realized by a frantic screamer holding a shoe.

To anyone who stopped by … thanks for reading and I hope you have a wonderful day! xxDee

Sticking to your guns

Stick to your guns! That is a lesson I have been learning the meaning of for the past two weeks. I am sure if there were ever a quiz on it … I would ace it … No doubt! I’ve never been one for confrontation, I have never gone out of my way to deliberately start something (sisters while still growing up doesn’t count) I have never been malicious or vindictive. It simply is not in my nature. I am too sensitive for that. But sometimes, there are some situations that cause someone even like me to emerge from their door mat like status and stand up. To push back the tears that threaten to pour from having to deal with a harsh situation and hold your chin up a little higher and say … NO! Or Reconsider … or whatever word fits into your own personal situation.

For the past seven years the bus has stopped at my driveway to pick up my children … I admit that I had been spoiled to that. And while it wasn’t my idea of a great change when they changed the bus stop to a few houses down the way. I understood.

However … when a school fails to contact the owner of said driveway. It poses a problem. Especially when owner of said driveway does not want strangers trespassing. They don’t feel comfortable with people in their yard with their children.              ETC. That poses a problem.

When you call the director of transportation assigned to your schools district to explain the circumstance. And they come back with “It is a state maintained road, the state owns a part of their driveway so you will stand on that.” Okay, so legally I am no longer trespassing. But what happens when the lines of the barrier between state owned and privately owned are blurred? There are no visible lines, nothing that helps shield from attacks of consistent reporting of trespassing when you can’t prove otherwise because you do not know where in fact you are overstepping boundaries.

A hassle! An easily avoidable hassle.

But when the only contact you have is that of a Mr. Griffin who has proven to be of low character. You are simply at a loss. When you complain of the situation and practically beg him to rethink, reconsider a separate place. And he simply says “I do not know you, I do not care and frankly I don’t like you, so if you hassle me about this again, I will put them all at the corner”

The corner he talks about is barely after you turn on a blind corner. His job is to map a route and keep children safe while doing so. This by far shows that he is completely failing at his job. To put a bus stop where a bus would be stopped (its back end in the middle of that turn) You not only put children on that bus in danger but the driver as well. I realize that my road says that 15 MILES PER HOUR IS THE LIMIT, but any person who knows the statistics of people who actually follow speed limits KNOWS that they don’t. A car speeding around that corner would barely have time to tap the break much less come to a full halt before crashing into the back end. When convenience takes precedence over child safety because you have a problem with a mother who expresses her concern … well then, you should be looked at further for weather or not you are able to actually do your job.

What are you supposed to do? When the only contact you have is a man who doesn’t give a care about you, or your children … he is just there to get paid. Someone who if you do anything other than let him bend over so you can pucker up deliberately says he can and will make things more difficult if you continue to confront the situation? What do you do? When there are laws that protect your freedom, and loop holes for which they have to invade it? I tell you what you do! You call someone who cares! That is one thing I learned … there are people who are sad and angry, unwilling to help, and then … there are people who care. Mr. Honeycutt proved that today. That NOT EVERYONE is only there to get paid. Some people DO in fact care.

Sticking to your guns will eventually lead you to someone who is in the proper place to help you. Not only in the proper place to help you … but willing. Someone who cares. I honestly do not think that Harnett county schools could do it without him and Mr. Frye.

Even if the situation doesn’t end up in a way you like … even if it stays exactly the same. At least you tried. At least you didn’t give up, and let people like Griffin sit back and smile and take pleasure in your pain. You gave them a little bit of hell. People like that don’t know what to do with people who stand up for themselves. They use power they have. But don’t let that stop you. Because no matter what power they have … there is always someone over them!

Hell … the president doesn’t even have all the power, and that’s the fucking president! Whatever your situation is … fight it! No one ever got what they needed sitting on the side lines and allowing people to make their decisions, their lives up for them.

 

Bottom line ... fight for what you believe in! Because no one else will!

thanks for stopping by

xxDee